The dolphins

It all started innocently enough a young man a winning footbal team it was love at
first sight.

oohhh those where the good old days.

when like a fool I let Shula and Marino steal my heart away. and thus a life long

love affair was started. At first it was like heaven.

Touchdown to the left touchdown to the right playoffs every year we were an elite

team.

WE were contenders (to quote Jimmy we had a shot) the future was bright, we were on our way. But every year
some how some way they managed to crush my heart and my soul.

Every year in a new an more painfull manner the dolphins would leave me at the altar

ready to celebrate that elusive superbowl.



This went on for years and little by little the heroes who made me fall in love with

the team were replaced by unknows full of ineptitude.

And so, long gonne were the shulas and the Marinos to be replaced by the fiedlers

and

the Jimmy johnsons of the world.

and thus this once great love affair was becoming a death sentence

a painful yearly ritual to be repeated faithfully and at the end of each year the thouhgt, that this is my last year I cant do this any more

I love you miami but this is not gonna work out.

I need something better

but every year right around august I could not help my self

and once again like that jilted lover I find my self running towards that altar

hoping praying that this time my ship will come in...

i know it doesnt look good.

i know its difficult

but to a love struck fool it all seems Possible.


GO DOLPHINS

M>B

When I was a child I felt as If I knew everything.

NOw that I am an adult I know, I know nothing.

yet I know more now than I did then

but I am not so sure of my self.

so I wonder what is best?

the blisfull ignorance of youth or the full knowledge that you are ignorant as an

adult.

The Damm

hello:


hello dear friend:

how are you today,

I hope you will forgive me for my attitude lately,

is just that I was tired lost and confused and I needed some time to gather my thoughts.





I pretty much just wanted to leave it all behind.


I needed some space.




I needed some time to clear my mind think and recharge my batteries.

I dont know if you can understand it, but i just needed to be alone for a little bit.

there is so much clutter in my life and so many voices that for once, I just wanted to hear my own voice.

I wanted to make sure that my ideas are my own and not just those put there by other people.

I wanted to hear my own drum beat, my own voice, and see what comes naturally,

but after I closed the world out, there was

nothing just silence.

I had no inner voice no thoughts, no aspirations just a defening numbing silence. it seemed that I was out of ideas, wishes and desires.

I was an empty vessel. with no where to go no one to see.

wanting nothing needing everything.

so I just numbed my self the best I could.

and I hoped I would feel nothing.

eventually I felt nothing just tiredness just a mind numbing sleep that slowly but surely became my obsesion.

just sleep,

I would wake up, and look forward to going back to sleep.

it was my only desire, my sanctuary.

and so I rested for days, until I could sleep no more.

I rested until I felt numb.

I rested until my mind felt fertile again.

I cant quite explain it, the best I can come up with is that the mind is like a river and sometimes it gets stuck, somehow you build a damm in your mind where
all these dark thoughts and insecurities just pile up, and eventually they need to be released somehow or youl drown in your own crap.
and so with the damm in my head finally broken I feel as if I have released all these toxins that were poisoning my mind.

the water is clear again and thus there is hope in the air.

I know it sounds crazy

but its the best I can explain it.




I wil talk to you later.